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Benjamin Pargan, born in Bosnia, living in Germany since 1998
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Study Time - Party Time
One thing is for sure - German parties are better than their reputation. Of course, there are a lot of clichés about the German ability to party, most of them involve adjectives like "cold," "humorless" or "distant." But in fact Germans are perfectly capable of letting their hair down with the best of them. The German student party tourist, however, should arm him or herself with a few key pieces of information about Teutonic custom, if they want to have a really good time and avoid any unpleasant surprises. For starters, think capitalism! It is not at all unusual for German student party guests to be required to bring their own food and or drink. That's probably got something to do with the German relationship to money. And while we're on the subject, here's another important tip: even if someone has personally invited you to their birthday party in a bar or a restaurant, make sure you have enough cash on hand to quench your thirst. That's the best way to avoid unpleasant and embarrassing situations, because it's not unknown for a German birthday boy or girl to keep their hands firmly out of their pockets. But hey, at least they invited you - it's just like sport, taking part is what really counts!
Amateur Philosophers
How do you get to know people at parties? At this point I would like to contradict, although only partially, the widely accepted cliché that Germans are introverted and incommunicative. It's not true. They just have rules that SEEs (southeast Europeans) may find a little strange. It's not easy to determine who makes the first move, and who talks to whom first. Chatty types may be a dime a dozen in southern Europe but they're thin on the ground in Germany. So don't be afraid to take the initiative and talk to people because most Germans, although they're not so themselves, think the fiery southern temperament is great. Be advised, however, that the range of conversation topics is narrow. You will find that your fellow students are keen to talk about their work, their studies or philosophy. Not surprising really, since Germany is known as the Land of Poets and Thinkers.
German students often complain about the Unverbindlichkeit of their fellow students from southern or eastern Europe. They simply find ittoo one-dimensional or superficial when they talk about such things as clothes, nightlife, or entertainment in general. Of course the flip side of this state of affairs is that SEEs (see above explanation) often find the conversational topics at German parties a little too dry, a little too shall we say, metaphysical. And another thing, it can take some time for party small talk to move into the more personal sphere. And by the way, you can easily be misunderstood if you take too much interest in the opposite sex too soon. There's a definite risk of being written off as a - southern European - playboy type. And that's where the cliché strikes back, because even the politically correct, distanced Teutons have their prejudices and their own clichés about other countries.
In vino veritas
As the alcohol level rises, the inhibitions disappear - a rule that applies here, as everywhere. For the SEE (see explanation above), German partygoers appear to be pretty relaxed about their relationships. It would appear that alcohol-related "lapses" are treated with a high degree of tolerance. And there is one other major alcoholic benefit - many studentissimos abandon their pseudo-intellectual claptrap. Finally, there is no more talk of the "Land of Poets and Thinkers," and the Germans can get down to the serious business of contradicting all the clichés about themselves.
One such cliché is certainly never to be observed at parties - the punctuality myth. It's definitely uncool to turn up at a party on time. If you're smart, you'll let the others wait for you. And if you're a smoker, don't be offended if you ask for a cigarette and your German fellow smoker reaches into his pack, takes one out and hands it to you rather than offering you the pack. It's neither an insult nor a warning not to ask for another one. On the contrary!
But you'll have the most fun discovering all these things and experiencing all these situations for yourself. Especially when its such a pleasant cultural phenomena as party going. So off you go… and have fun!
Benjamin Pargan
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