Close to my house there is a tower
This tower was built in the 13th century and is still there, till now, sound and quiet. No matter how many times Passau was flooded, no matter how high the water level was, the tower is there for more than 800 years.
Its solidity and firmness on one hand inspires me everyday, and on the other hand rings the bell of my forever-“fairytaled” soul, so called: a daydreamer.
As you might have read from my previous blog, I was always on the top of the “game” for 3 years in a row, when I studied in Vietnam back then. And now, after just only two weeks of student life in Germany, for the first time in life I can feel it from deep down inside, that there is much more to learn and studying has never been something easy, not to mention studying in a foreign language, about a complete different field and concern of my life, ever: laws and politics, of Europe. However, I am here to learn, to test the limits and break through them, to get myself out of the comfort zones and achieve a better version of me, not to get better than anyone else.
This is easier said than done. Facts remain facts and so as the bitterness that I have to taste everyday. The struggles are real and I find myself in such a big dilemma: either I translate every word that I do not understand, or read a lot of other texts and do a lot of researching on the side, to be able to get the idea without having to translate. The second option literally sounds to be the right one, but it takes on the other hand a lot of time and effort. The feeling of always not-done-yet, of always having something else that I should do instead of taking a rest or cooking or cleaning or any other activity than studying and studying and studying, puts me under such a heavy pressure and constant stress. It is just not easy. Like it never has and never will.
And then, there is that tower, on my way home, as it always has and always will, sound and quiet.
The solidity combined with the fairytale part of it leads me to the idea of self-belief. To be able to be as firm and high, to be able to reach to the top of the tower, as well as to become the symbol for more than 800 years, all I have to do is hold on to what a princess in the tower would do: keeping my head held high so the crown is kept firmly. Just that, in this case, I am not waiting for any prince on the white horse to come to the rescue. Hence, no matter how many times per day I have to re-motivate myself, no matter how many times per day I want to shed tears so bad for being too tired, there is still that tower standing there, sound and quiet.
Giving myself a moment to calm down, I realize nothing would ever change: the tower will keep on writing its history, and so do I. As long as I keep on trying in quietness, there would be someday when people hear the sound of my achievements. And as long as I keep on standing tall and do not give up, it would also be okay if I am just being me, a better one, instead of a “princess” or any other important person.
And close to my house, there is always a tower!