“Is it even possible to be back to Germany?”

… is the most asked question, not only by friends and family, but also by me, to myself. I kept asking myself that question not only just now, but constantly everyday, from the very first day I left Germany until I finally am here, again, after more than a year.

I had been waiting for this flight since July 21, 2019 – the day I was in Vietnam again after my AuPair year. Because of some paper issues, which I might write about later on, I had to go home instead of starting my study in Germany right away. However, despite the Corona pandemic and the pandemic of my anxiety, I could still fly.

Blooming flowers, in the background a church can be seen.
Passau’s Fall: Flowers and Sky© DAAD/ Anh-Hoang

KEEP FIGHTING AGAINST THE PANDEMIC

In the middle of July 2019, I was sitting on the flight from Europe heading Hanoi, holding the cup of coffee the flight attendant gave me, crying.

In the middle of August 2019, I could not pass a day without staring at the clouds and let my head flow to these good old days when I was in Germany, fretting.

In the middle of December 2019, I did not have a single reason to celebrate Christmas, since it is not a tradition in my country, being empty.

In the middle of February 2020, I bought my flight ticket for the summer semester at the university of Passau, fulfilling.

In the middle of March 2020, I found out the university was on lockdown, crying.

I, again, bursted out into tears in disappointment: when the world pandemic started to break out, so as my anxiety pandemic.

In the middle of August, I, again, received my student visa and one month later, I finally flew. The pandemic is still a thing, so as my anxiety. However, the belief I have in myself is, too, something that could fly higher, spread wider than any of these above.

I have made my first very struggle step. And believe me, there might be lockdowns these days, but as long as you keep your faith, nothing can ever lock you down.

As long as you keep your faith, nothing can ever lock you down.

Anh-Hoang

A cobblestone street in the old town of Passau.
Passau Old Quarter© DAAD/ Anh-Hoang

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Comments

Congratulations on stepping out of your comfort zone. Stay safe!

written by Jack Milgram created on

Thank you very much! You too.

written by Hoang Anh created on

This is really motivational, for all the people who are yet undecided, and are about to leave a well settled life back in their own home country. Even learning German is like going back to the kindergarten days when we first started learning alphabets! Great read!

written by Nishi created on

Come for the tips yet leave with the feelings, I did not expect this from a blog at all, absolutely love it ❤ Stay safe, be strong and keep blogging, we need the inspiration and courage in this chaotic time

written by Julija Strivana created on

Thank you so much, Julija! I hope you are doing well and stay safe too. I am not good at giving tips, but I always want to write down all my feelings so that I can sort things out and move forward. I am really glad if it somehow can touch you as well. You can come back every once per week for more. Much love, your Ahn ❤️

written by Hoang Anh Nguyen created on

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